A 6lb little boy changed my world 18 years ago. It didn't happen in the PureFlix love story type of way but he happened and he was all mine. The Lord knew I needed this snuggly, full of sarcastic whit, always on the go, sweet in word & deed boy in my life.
A world full of little army men, wooden swords, superheroes, monster trucks, and dirt.(Oh all of the dirt!) has morphed into senior year class schedule, graduation party plans, and after high school job offers. How in the world did we get here so fast!! I never quite understood the old cliché saying "in the blink of an eye" until I had my son. These past 18 years have truly flown by!
The saying, the days are long but the years are short, was corny and just something "older people" said. Well now I'M that older person and I find SO much truth in those corny words. Parenting doesn't stop when your child turns 18 but it is different. I'm looking forward to this next chapter in his life, and in a round about way, my life.
I was a young single mom. I am and will always be grateful for my "village" that helped me in raising my son. I wanted to guaruntee my son had good, honest, godly men in his life to show him scripture actually being lived out. Many "manly" talks were had over video games & outdoor fun with my brother and step dad leading the way. I am blessed to have a Christ centered family that helped in any way they could. But that being said, I knew it was up to me to be a daily role model for my son. I had many "what if" moments early on. What if I'm not doing enough, what if I'm doing it wrong? What if I'm just messing it all up?! But I knew that parenting with guidance from the scripture and other Christ centered parents I would always be doing my best.
I made it a point for my son to see a bit of life struggles, that life isn't always rainbows and butterflies. But on the flip side I made sure he was gifted opportunities and situations where
he saw or got to be the good in the world.
As I sit and listen to my son excitedly talk about his plans for after high school I can't help but question my parenting the last 18 years. (Yes all of those questions crept their way back in.) Is he ready for this next phase of life? Did I do enough, teach him enough, share enough? Did we spend enough time in church, did I show him who Christ really is through words and service? Will he remember the Bible studies? Too many questions. But God quickly gave me the answers.
As he's talking I look at him. I mean, I REALLY look at him. I notice the sparkle in his eyes when he's explaining something he loves. The way he uses his hands to give power to what he is sharing. The way he looks at me for confirmation during the conversation. He's excited yet nervous. He cannot wait to see what God has in store for him. It then hits me, all of my questions are uncalled for. I know I did my best. My son has shown me that he is a strong, capable, crazy smart, loving, empathic, humble, level headed, God fearing man. We both know mistakes will be made but he knows that I will always be by his side and has a loving heavenly Father that will never leave him.
I had to learn, ok still a work in progress, to give my son and his future over to God. I pray daily and will continue to pray until my last day day for my son and his life. I pray that he remembers scripture for different times in his life, That he continues to dive deeper in the Bible and draws closer to God. But this momma take assurance that the Creator of the universe loves my son more than I do and has his life in the palm of His hand.
Parents, love on your kids... HARD. All the time. Pour into them daily. Teach them. Show them. The good AND the bad. Share with them. Take allll of those pictures. Be silly. Dance. Make memories.
Just remember......
18 short years.